Pregnant and depressed

No one tells you how depressed it can get when you have HG.

Believe me when I tell you that this is one of the most depressing times a pregnant woman can go through, except for hearing about a fatal diagnosis for their unborn child ( I was there for a few weeks so I can tell you how this felt first hand).

Your body aches, you are constantly sick and what was supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life is the most miserable time.

I was working with another teacher who also was pregnant, a few weeks behind me. I watched as she flitted about the place like a butterfly, eating and drinking what ever she pleased.

My diet: mangoes, papaya(I hated this before) pasta with lentils and an obscene amount of salt, cassava with and obscene amount of salt, the occasional English potato with nothing but salt, soup had a short stint, extremely cold malt flavoured water. Nothing else was added to my food except what was mentioned- no seasonings, no butter, no oil, nothing but salt.

And by diet, I mean that these things had a greater likelihood of staying down for more than 5 minutes.

Nothing could be cooked in my house; just boiling water make me throw up. All the seasonings had to go. My mother had to cook for me, with the occasional soup that my sister made for me when I was in my first trimester.

Sleeping for 3 hours, spending hours sitting in the bathroom because it was easier that running in there every 5 minutes, watching people eat what ever, go where ever, do what ever, and especially watching my pregnant colleague blooming like a pregnant rose while I was there sick, weak and in pain, really drove me deeper and deeper into depression (forgive my long rambling sentence).

And not to mention the stares, the comments about me spitting and being constantly sick and the size of my stomach and how thin I was (I was thin to begin with but got even thinner while pregnant) made the depression pile on.

My husband was trying to be supportive but he was just not understanding that I could not stand the smell of garlic and onion and him eating a pattie and then brushing his teeth 3 times afterwards did not help because I still smelt it and threw up. Sure he rubbed my back and brought a chair for me to sit in the bathroom, but “why did he have to do these things?” I thought.”I should be enjoying my pregnancy and instead I am sick EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

I felt extremely depressed.

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